A Typical Day at MacAdam/Cage…

Our friends over at The Velvet were a little curious about what a typical day at MacAdam/Cage is like. One Velvet member seemed a little bummed to find out that we do not actually have “hookers just lounging around in snowbanks of cocaine and a Jagermeister fountain.” (It’s more like strippers building beer bottle pyramids and organizing Pat’s enormous closet of cigarette cartons.)

So Editor-in-Chief Pat Walsh provided them with a general run down of a typical ‘Cage day:

6:13 a.m. Arrive by company rickshaw
6:18 a.m. Remove galoshes and put on sheepskin slippers to protect teak floors with human bone inlay.
6:20 a.m. Intern wheels in breakfast service, fried kippers, medium soft boiled eggs, shitake mushrooms stuffed in lamb foreskins, bloody mary.
6:40 a.m. Return 36 calls from New York, say “No!” 36 times in 36 different ways.
9:50 a.m. Return Emails. Say “No” 210 different ways.
10 a.m. Meditate again to get the photo of Ferghova licking his own nipples wiped from my memory.
11:45 a.m. Referee Intern push-up contest, fire loser.
Noon. Close office door. Remove cork from my bottle of lunch.
3:20 p.m. Open office door to a much more manageable world.
3:25 p.m. Referee Intern cartwheel contest. Fire winner.
3:45 p.m. Read Saint Heretic again.
4:45 p.m. Intern Death Match. Have final intern post an “Interns Wanted” ad on craigslist.
5 p.m. Daily check-in call with Chris Baer to talk about our feelings.
5:30 p.m. Martinis and cheeselog
6:30 p.m. Order up the company rickshaw

He forgot to mention the required hourly chain-smoking sessions that take place, no matter what, between the phone calls, emails, and intern challenges. Other than that, it’s pretty spot on.


~ by Melissa on February 1, 2009.

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